The process of enlightenment started at an early age for me. I was fortunate to have a mother who nurtured the habit of self-reflection as apposed to blame and self-justification and deflection. If I was in a tough situation, I needed to ask how I contributed to it, or even why I had attracted it into my life.
At first, it is annoying. You want to come home and vent about a bully at school, but then your mother starts talking about the household conditions that create bullies and how lucky I am not to have to live in the horrible conditions in which they often live.
If I would argue that they did not have it so bad, she would take another route, asking why I would take to heart what a wounded person would say to me. She forced me to think at every turn and never allowed me to cheap out or blame. I say blame is cheap because it requires no insight, no strength of character. It is the way of anger and resentment, which is cheap in that it avoids all responsibility and self growth, and is hence costly. Anger consumes valuable life energy.
Initiation is a process whereby one is challenged and tested by life, and by spirit. This can provide a new spiritual beginning. It is like being reborn to a new spiritual life.
All roads lead to this. The wowness that permeates the New Age movement is often derided as something distasteful and unspiritual and naïve. But these things all eventually lead to spiritual paths of growth. This is impossible to avoid.
Enlightenment is a process where you reclaim your energies. Many people are unaware of the energy they waste on judgment, criticism of self and others, anger and resentment, and other negative stuff. Significant shifts in your energy body occur during enlightenment. These shifts in energy signal you are ready for Initiation. These things can be said to ‘trigger’ initiation.
My mother did me a great service, preventing me from being hard on others, but she could not hear how hard I was on my self, and thus could not correct this. That was my job. But first I had to become aware of how hard I was being on myself, and how I was allowing others to use this flaw to manipulate me. This continued to shape my life for many years to come.
For me, the process of enlightenment started in earnest with the clock exercise. This is a Hermetic training exercise, from Franz Bardon’s classic book ‘Initiation Into Hermetics’. I would sit and stare at the tip of a second hand on a clock. As long as my eyes remained sharply focused on the tip I had a clear mind, but the moment thoughts entered my mind my vision blurred. Our thoughts do that….they blur our ability to see and perceive clearly. They get in the way.
After a year of doing this exercise three times a day, every day I was able to reach ten minutes with no thoughts entering my mind. But this process also made me keenly aware of all my thoughts when I was not doing the exercise. I realized that while I prided myself on not being judgmental, I was EXTREMELY judgmental of my self. This allowed people to continue to manipulate me and control me, sometimes in very unhealthy ways. In time, as this realization of self grew, and suffering did its work, I started breaking free and regaining my energies. When I reached a tipping point, this triggered my initiation.
There is so much people do not understand about initiation:
1) It is just a start – as in the key word initial…beginning
2) It will occur whether there is a teacher or not. Remember, life is the great teacher. And, there is always suffering…the default teacher of all.
3) A positive initiation that moves you towards a higher state, as opposed to a lower state (the dark path) requires much housecleaning. You must be willing to face and process many of your fears, shame, guilt, imperfections, mistakes and other baggage. Without this initial work, initiation could cause instability. You cannot fool your higher self into thinking that you are ready if you are not. And your higher self is the one in charge of creating an initiation process. This may or may not attract a spiritual teacher or outside help in any form.
4) There are many levels of initiation, and many ways it can unfold. Each initiation occurs when the time is right for the person involved. But the first level has a common thread. Facing your fears. This initiation will depend on what your worst fears are. Fear devours vast amounts of energy. Facing them starts to dissolve blockages, freeing up energy for higher purposes.
5) Initiation can be short: from hours to weeks – rarely longer. Much longer than this and the intensity of initiation could leave the psyche crushed. The duration seems to depend on how much baggage needs to be processed, and what level of spiritual growth is involved. The visions, illusions and dream tests we might face during initiation need to be clearly understood as illusions. These things will involve facing fears and highlighting areas that need attention.
The best approach is to learn from each part and then let it go – wring the truth and the learning from experiences, then let it go. They are often abstract, metaphorical, requiring some interpretation and thought.
Dreams convey messages and teachings. It is the mind that wants a type written literal letter. The mind often misinterprets these things.
It is your intuition and gut instinct that will get you through these things. You need to start trusting more than just your mind. You need to trust your authentic feelings.
6) You will never be the same energetically after an initiation. Significant energy blockages and attachments break up during initiation. Over the months that follow, more blockages break up and more attachments drop away. This can be uncomfortable at times.
7) Your associations will likely shift. If you went through an initiation at the fear based level….sometimes called the Trial by Fire…and by far the scariest initiation, you will move away from fear based people. Partly because you will no longer allow your self to be manipulated by people who use fear to control.
8) You can be initiated through several levels at once. Initiation is hugely variable.
During my experience, I was initiated through the first three levels at once. This lasted an agonizing 14 days. The problem with going through so much in one shot is that you undergo such a dramatic shift that it can leave those around you disoriented, not to mention yourself. Suddenly, people that were manipulating you with fear, guilt, lack, ego, and self esteem, are shocked that you no longer react in the same way. Or, if you were the type that was a controller, you stop manipulating and using these methods. This results in the same confusion, as you are different and other people have trouble coping with and understanding the new you.
Controlling types usually end up with people with low self esteem who want or subconsciously need to be controlled. They will feel a void that they may or may not be able to deal with. The larger the shift, the less likely a bridge will occur to enable current relationships to continue.
Koala. To be continued……